Valentine’s Day is rolling around again, and has many men and women asking themselves the same question: How to choose a gift for your love? Hobnob has some tips to get you moving in the right direction.

With all the Valentine’s day commercialism, what’s the thoughtful person to do? Thankfully, there are a myriad of ways to show you care. HOBNOB believes that DOING something, instead of BUYING something can be a more meaningful expression of the affection you feel for someone. Experiences are where it’s at—positive feelings shared are good for the soul and a great way to prolong attraction. Here are some ideas to get you started.

NOVEL THINGS TO DO

[1] Make a List of the 10 Reasons You Love Your Lover. These should be quirky and wonderful. You could mention the way a person smells, or the way it feels when they touch you; remember a favor they did for you, and how much it was appreciated; your absolute favorite physical attribute of theirs and why it turns you on; the bedroom move that thrills you deeply. You know what to do here.

[2] Get a Room. Here’s your chance to book a hotel in the city you live in and get away from it all—order room service, champagne, some X-rated flicks, a massage, the works! You might want to stop into a local sex toy shop on the way and purchase something novel for a night of enhanced pleasure. The following day, walk away and let someone else clean up the mess.

[3] Do the Opposite. If you are used to doing upscale things, like going to fancy restaurants, go low. Find a dive bar to make out in, go to a shooting range, or compete in a video game room. If you are usually low-brow, hit the town: get tickets for the ballet, or do the tasting menu at an uber-uppity spot. You will bond.

[4] Go On an Adventure. Explore a neighborhood that you are unfamiliar with like a tourist—just pick a random spot and go. There you can find a cool spot to eat, relax by a river, go to thrift shops, let it happen. Be comrades in arms.

[5] Sign Up for a Class Together. If there is something you both love, make a point to make some time to do it together. Learn a new language, take a cooking class, sign up for yoga sessions, discover birdwatching. Or get into adult-ed and really go back to school, with classes on history, politics, or reading classic novels. This is the gift that lasts more than a day and gives you something to build on in the future.

[6] Role Play. Plan to meet on a date and pretend to be other people. Costumes can come into play: wigs, glasses, provocative outfits. You can surprise each other with your alternate egos, or both be in on it, you choose. Try pretending you are meeting for a first date—ask each other lots of questions, be fresh.

BUYING A GIFT: 5 CLUES TO FINDING SOMETHING DESIRED

If a gift-free Vday is not going to fly we have some suggestions for deducing a gift your lover will love. Ask yourself the following questions for clues to finding the ultra-desired gift:

—Clue 1: When was the last time your mate talked about something in an excited way? Was it a movie they saw, a new fishing accessory that came out? Think back.

—Clue 2: What is the thing that you both do when you get out of your routine, like when you are on a vacation? Do you do dangerous, bold things? Do you like to just sit around and do the crossword puzzle together? Find something that will enhance those times together.

—Clue 3: What is the thing that your lover loves to wear the most? Is it a piece of jewelry? A favorite t-shirt? A hat? Think along those lines…

—Clue 4: Is there a hobby that you can champion? Does your lover like to take photos? Perhaps a new camera lens is in order or you could make prints of their best shots and frame.

—Clue 5: Did you just have a really fun time together? For instance, if you went on a trip to Greece, buy something Greek to remind you of the trip. Remember to explain the reason for your gift in the card you give.

Not in a relationship with one person? Spread the love… This is the time to remember those in your life that have made a difference. We at HOBNOB love to send silly Valentines to all: sisters, friends, co-workers, cousins, grandparents, neighbors. Hand someone a card, text them something funny, or just wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day. You never know what might come of it as a result. Consider this a day when love rules.

illustration: Handini_Atmodiwiryo/istockphoto.com